My Rules for RV Camping (Again????)

Please forgive me, if I have posted this before. I keep coming across lists of rules for RVers. It always makes me laugh how controlling some people want to be.
Feb 18, 2019, 11:45 AM
I see so many discussions of camping rules and etiquette on the different group pages and forums that I follow. One group is making a list of rules for new comers right now. It reminded me of my rules. I wrote these as a snarky reply to a post in the Open Roads Forum. My point was and still is, that we don't all like the same things when camping. It's hard to make rules that will please everyone. Please take my rules in jest, as they are intended.

1) No outdoor cooking. I don't want to smell your dinner. In fact, no fires at all. I hate the smell of smoke.
2) No sitting outside in a lawn chair. You give me the creeps staring at me when I walk or drive by.
3) No talking on the trails. I want to hear the birds, crickets, and leaves rustling.
4) No goofy lights all over your site. If you want a patio, buy a house, or go back to yours!
5) No music please. If I wanted to hear music, I would be playing it myself.
6) No guitars. Dude... If you could play the thing, you would be on tour somewhere- not camping.
7) No health nuts. I don't want you running around the park. I don't like it.
8) No campers under 60. I just can't relate to young people.
9) No campers over 60. I just can't relate to old people.
10) No reading under a tree. School is out. I don't want reminders of it.
11) No bikes. I don't want them zipping around me.
12) No fat people. If I want to see that, I'll install a mirror in my camper.
13) No skinny people. You need a reason for that one?
14) No helpers or advice givers. If I wanted your help, I would come and get it from you.
15) No rugs on your sites. It's nature! You don't need that.
16) No family signs. I don't care who you are. It bugs me.
17) No plants around your site. (see number 4)
18) No dogs but mine. Strange dogs scare him.
19) No couples. I don't want to hear you bicker. Also, public displays of affection make me nauseous.
20) Keep it covered in the bath house. Mine is the only one I need to see.